|The only thing I'll be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!|
|— Leslie Knope|
Leslie Knope has been asked to lead a session of Pawnee Central High School's Model UN club. She invites Ben Wyatt, April Ludgate, and Andy Dwyer to join her. Leslie is assigned Denmark, Ben is assigned Peru, Andy is assigned Finland, and April is assigned South Africa on the condition that she also be assigned the moon. The Model UN's task that afternoon is to solve a food crisis. Leslie is glad that she and Ben are getting along as friends, but Ben has reservations about it. When Leslie leaves a treaty meeting with Peru for a photo op for her city council campaign, Ben becomes annoyed as it represents why Leslie ended their romantic relationship, so he agrees to a treaty that excludes Denmark. Ben tells Leslie that he is not comfortable with them just being friends and calls her selfish for trying to have both him and her campaign. Angry, Leslie declares war on Peru.
Ron Swanson has been interviewing replacements for Tom Haverford's old job. Ron actually wants Tom back, and although Tom claims to have moved onto new ventures after the failure on Entertainment 720, Ron knows that he is actually working retail at Macy's. Ron interviews many poor candidates to agitate Tom into returning, but it does not work. Meanwhile, Chris Traeger's girlfriend Millicent Gergich has stopped returning his calls, so he asks Jerry Gergich, his ex-girlfriend Ann Perkins, and Donna Meagle for advice.
Leslie and Ben rally support to their respective countries for the war and completely ignore the food crisis. The event spirals out of control and the Model UN eventually ejects Denmark and Peru, kicking out Leslie and Ben. April arranges for the two to talk in private, where Ben suggests that they avoid each other from now on. Leslie wants to keep Ben in her life, so the two compromise to have a friendly chat at work for a few minutes each day. They apologize to the Model UN by organizing a state-wide Model UN that will be held at Pawnee city hall in a few months.
Chris is told that his overbearing optimistic personality may be scaring off Milly. Ann says her old relationship with Chris failed because he tried to change her lifestyle to match his own, but he became bored since he was basically dating himself. Tom admits to Ron that he does not want to crawl back to his old job, so Ron pretends to beg Tom to take the position in front of others. Despite this, Tom still says no, angering Ron so much that he forces Tom to beg for his old job in front of the entire department.
Leslie: I need a few more volunteers. Andy, will you be Iceland?
Andy: The bad guys from Mighty Ducks 2? Don't think so.
Leslie: OK, how about Japan?
Andy: The bad guys from Karate Kid 2? Even worse. How about Germany? They've never been the bad guys.
Leslie: Oh hey Ben, have you ever seen my complete collection of all 193 National Flags? Oh, here they are!
Andy: I definitely have more lions than any other country in the whole world right now.
Leslie: Yeah, we got the freaking moon. What are you going to do without tides, Peru?
Ben: It's a white flag, and you better start waving it now, Leslie!
Leslie: The only thing I'll be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!
Ben: ...Good Lord.
Ann: Jogging is the worst! I mean, I know it keeps you healthy, but God at what cost?