|Pawnee is the fourth most obese city in America. The kids here are beefy. They're just husky, big-boned, chunk monsters.|
|— Ann Perkins|
The central plotline concerns the potential sponsorship deal between the Parks Department and Sweetums, a local candy manufacturer hoping to market NutriYum Bars, a "nutritious" snack bar, to park visitors. Ron Swanson supports the deal, as he advocates governmental privatization and emphasizes consumer choice over public safety. Leslie Knope, on the other hand, opposes the deal as she believes Pawnee park visitors lack sufficient consumer knowledge to make an informed choice about Sweetums products. During a deal-closing meeting, Leslie convinces City Manager Paul Iaresco that the department should hold a public forum as a method of liability prevention. At the public forum, Sweetums representatives screen films highlighting consumer satisfaction, while Leslie responds by screening a 30-year-old Sweetums film which discusses how corn syrup (and other future ingredients of the snack bars) make cattle unhealthy. At the end of Leslie's screening, Sweetums brings in their commercial's primary actor, who also happens to be the company's CEO, Nick Newport Jr. and his children. One of the children instructs the forum audience to look under their seat for candy. The forum audience exclaims with excitement and ultimately votes in favor of the sponsorship deal. At the conclusion of the episode, Ron apologizes to Leslie for "being a jerk", although this presumably did not impact the result of the public forum vote.
A sideplot centers around Tom Haverford's attempt to move out of his home with Wendy Haverford. During the episode, Tom again hesitates to reveal his feelings for his ex-wife, whom he married to protect from deportation. Mark Brendanawicz reluctantly helps Tom through the process as he is a truck owner and could not think of a "valid excuse". Donna Meagle, April Ludgate, Jerry Gergich, and Andy Dwyer join to assist Tom move his many boxes to his new home. At the end of the episode, Tom learns that his new home has a gas leak and that he is unable to move in until Monday. Tom asks the department members to take the boxes into their own homes, but they ultimately bring his possessions and leave them in the Parks Department office.
Another subplot involves the continued exploration of April's possible romance with Andy, who remains oblivious to her developing feelings. April agrees to assist Tom's moving efforts so as to be closer to Andy. At Tom's house, she is shown checking her teeth, dancing to various songs, and agreeing to watch a Canadian version of Deep Blue Sea at Andy's suggestion. April's boyfriend Derek and his gay boyfriend Ben later mock Andy, which forces April to refer to their behavior as being "really gay". In their final appearance in the episode, Andy asks April to watch him roller blade after work, but April declines his offer, implying that the comments made by Derek and Ben may have confounded her feelings towards Andy.
Ron: I think the entire government should be privatized. Chuck E. Cheese could run the parks. Everything operated by tokens. Drop in a token, go on the swing set. Drop in another token, take a walk. Drop in a token, look at a duck.
Ann: Pawnee is the fourth-most obese city in America. The kids here are just beefy. They're husky, big-boned, chunk monsters.
Leslie: Wow, that family looks so healthy. Look at them, they're all wearing vests.
Ron: Swansons have a preternaturally high tolerance for alcohol. My old man used to put Wild Turkey on his cornflakes.
Mark: I fucking hate having a pickup truck.
Tom: Andy, I have a very interesting business proposal for you. I'm moving a lot of heavy stuff out of my place this weekend...
Andy: [immediately] Can I help you move? I'm really good at it. Afterwards I take the cardboard from the boxes and I use it for breakdancing.
April: I'll go, too.
Tom: Really? 'Cause an hour ago you told me you'd rather watch a sex tape of your grandparents.
April: Shut up. I don't have anything else to do. Do you want help or not?
Tom: Alright. See you guys later.
Andy: I think that that's really, really sweet that your grandparents still make love.
April: Oh my god, they're amazing.
Jerry: They're more than amazing. They are terrific.
April: Terrific's not more than amazing, Jerry.
Jerry: No? Well, it's not less.
Ron: Leslie needs to butt out. The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that's beautiful.
Marcie: Hmm, you seem to have a $40 late fee on a book called Mysteries of the Female Orgasm!
Leslie: No I don't!
Leslie: The first line, by the way: Oh captain, my captain. Ron Swanson, a swan song. Yeah. It gets better from there!