Leslie, along with Donna and others, holds a sex education class following an STD outbreak amongst senior citizens in Pawnee. They will run afoul of Pawnee’s morality watchdogs when they are caught behaving badly with bananas – meaning, they offer a safe sex seminar in a town that proudly preaches abstinence to its youth.
Tom's gadgets are taken away when he is charged with "driving while tweeting" after hitting a fire hydrant and is sentenced by a judge to "a week without screens". He tries to make his own Pinterest board out of a cork board and pictures of food, clothing, and other items, as well as watching Jerry Gergich work on his computer. Ron finally helps Tom acclimate to life without technology by taking him to his secret cabin in the woods.
April and Ben meet Congressman Murray, the man whose campaign they are running. They find he's very strange, seeming to turn himself off and stare at the wall for hours when he's not smiling, shaking hands, and giving speeches. Both April and Ben compare him to a robot.
- Adam J. Harrington as Congressman Murray
- Darlene Hunt as Marcia Langman
- Todd Sherry as Marshall Langman.
- Jay Jackson as Perd Hapley
- Jay Burns as Lance
Tom: I don't want to put words in your mouth, but case dismissed.
Lawyer: And you were texting at the time, correct?
Tom: How dare you sir? I was tweeting!
Tom: [via Tweet] Just hit a fire hydrant, but I survived. #Unbreakable #WhatsMrGlassuptothesedays #whynosequel?
Leslie: Great news! Lots of old people have chlamydia!
Andy: Do pubic hairs get longer the older you get? Because that’s happening to me, what do I do?
Leslie: Seniors can be pretty ornery.
Andy: I think it's pronounced "horny".
Tom: Jerry, you check your email by going to AltaVista and typing in “please go to yahoo.com"?
Ron: [on his cabin in the woods] The electric company is not even aware there’s a structure there.
Tom: Okay, I start everyday by hitting up Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram. Sometimes I like to throw in Linkedin. For the profession shorties.
Tom: Wikipedia is mankind's greatest invention. You can learn about anything. We all know Ray J. We all know he's a singer. He's Brandy's brother. And he was in that classic sex tape with Kim Kardashian. But, did you also know he's Snoop Dogg's cousin AND he was in the 1996 Tim Burton movie Mars Attacks? Suddenly, you're on the Mars Attacks page!
Tom: [instructing Ron to check WebMD on a phone] Something with 4G, there’s no time for the Edge network!
Perd: There are some statistics that I want to share with you now, and they are numbers.
Ron: I'm giving you a non-electronic book made of paper from a tree. It is called Auto Repair Manual-1982. You will read this book from cover to cover then you will assist me in repairing the damage to my car. I will not report you to the judge but if you slip up again you will have much more to fear than some feeble government employee in a robe.
Ben: Terrific. Hey, I’m hungry. Let’s go eat some batteries, I mean human food!