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==Category 1== |
==Category 1== |
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| − | *'''Honor''': |
+ | *'''Honor''': If you need it defined, you do not have it at all. |
==Category 2== |
==Category 2== |
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*'''America:''' The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures", use an atlas or a ham radio. |
*'''America:''' The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures", use an atlas or a ham radio. |
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| − | *'''Buffets:''' Whenever available. Choose quantity over quality, But beef over everything else |
+ | *'''Buffets:''' Whenever available. Choose quantity over quality, But beef over everything else. |
==Category 3== |
==Category 3== |
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==Category 8== |
==Category 8== |
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| − | *'''Friends:''' One |
+ | *'''Friends:''' One or two is sufficient. |
*'''Property rights: '''They exist. Do not let them be taken away from you. |
*'''Property rights: '''They exist. Do not let them be taken away from you. |
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*'''Masonry:''' Walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger. |
*'''Masonry:''' Walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger. |
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Revision as of 05:06, 10 January 2016
Swanson Pyramid of Greatness
Ron Swanson developed the Pyramid of Greatness over the course of many years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement.
(Categories listed top to bottom by level of importance)
Category 1
- Honor: If you need it defined, you do not have it at all.
Category 2
- America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures", use an atlas or a ham radio.
- Buffets: Whenever available. Choose quantity over quality, But beef over everything else.
Category 3
- Weapons: Best used whenever you can.
- Wood working Man imposing his will on nature with tools.
- Welfare avoidance
Category 4
- Teamwork: Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES!
- Selfishness: Take what's yours.
- Haircuts: 3 acceptable styles: High and Tight, Crew Cut & Buzz Cut.
- Greatness itself: The best revenge.
Category 5
- Discipline: The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again.
- Attire: Shorts over 6" are capri pants. Shorts under 6" are European.
- Self-reliance: Trust yourself.
- Suspicion: Do not trust anyone else.
- Skim milk: That's right. It's on here twice. Avoid it.
Category 6
- Cow protein
- Pig protein
- Chicken protein
- Romantic love
- Deer protein
- Fish (Sport only!)
Category 7
- Intensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.
- Torso: Should be thick and impenetrable.
- Old wooden sailing ships: They're beautiful.
- B.O.: Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice.
- Stillness: Don't waste energy moving unless necessary.
- Skim milk: Avoid it.
- Cursing: There's only one bad word: Taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors, it's good enough for you.
Category 8
- Friends: One or two is sufficient.
- Property rights: They exist. Do not let them be taken away from you.
- Masonry: Walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger.
- Cabins: Places to rest that are made of logs.
- Perspiration: Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating.
- You: You are your biggest ally and your worst enemy, at the same time.
- Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
- Physical Fitness
Category 9
- Frankness: Cut the B.S.
- Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor.
- Facial hair: Full, thick and square. Nothing sculpted. If you have to sculpt it, that probably means you can't grow it.
- Living in the woods: Live off the land.
- Rage: One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
- Security: Secure the land.
- Poise: Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous.
- Handshakes: Firm, Dry, Solid. 3 seconds.
- Body grooming: Only women shave beneath the neck.