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[[File:Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.jpg|thumb|Swanson Pyramid of Greatness]] |
[[File:Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.jpg|thumb|Swanson Pyramid of Greatness]] |
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− | [[Ron Swanson]] |
+ | [[Ron Swanson]] developed the Pyramid of Greatness over the course of many years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. |
(Categories listed top to bottom by level of importance) |
(Categories listed top to bottom by level of importance) |
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==Category 1== |
==Category 1== |
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− | *'''Honor''' |
+ | *'''Honor''': If you need it defined, you do not have it |
==Category 2== |
==Category 2== |
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− | *'''America:''' The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures, |
+ | *'''America:''' The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures", use an atlas or a ham radio. |
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==Category 3== |
==Category 3== |
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− | *'''Weapons''' |
+ | *'''Weapons: '''Best used whenever you can. |
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− | *''' |
+ | *'''Welfare avoidance''' |
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− | *'''Welfare Avoidance''' |
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==Category 4== |
==Category 4== |
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− | *'''Teamwork:''' Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES |
+ | *'''Teamwork:''' Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES! |
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*'''Selfishness:''' Take what's yours. |
*'''Selfishness:''' Take what's yours. |
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==Category 5== |
==Category 5== |
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*'''Discipline:''' The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again. |
*'''Discipline:''' The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again. |
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*'''Suspicion:''' Do not trust anyone else. |
*'''Suspicion:''' Do not trust anyone else. |
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==Category 6== |
==Category 6== |
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− | *'''Cow |
+ | *'''Cow protein''' |
+ | *'''Pig protein''' |
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− | *''' |
+ | *'''Chicken protein''' |
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− | *''' |
+ | *'''Deer protein''' |
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==Category 7== |
==Category 7== |
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*'''Intensity:''' Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that. |
*'''Intensity:''' Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that. |
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+ | *'''Torso:''' <span style="color:rgb(41,47,51);font-family:'HelveticaNeue',Arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;white-space:pre-wrap;">Should be thick and impenetrable.</span> |
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− | *'''Torso:''' Should be thick and impenetrable. |
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*'''Stillness:''' Don't waste energy moving unless necessary. |
*'''Stillness:''' Don't waste energy moving unless necessary. |
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==Category 8== |
==Category 8== |
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− | *'''Friends:''' One to |
+ | *'''Friends:''' One to three is sufficient. |
+ | *'''Property rights: '''They exist. Do not let them be taken away from you. |
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− | *''' |
+ | *'''Masonry:''' Walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger. |
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− | *'''Masonry:''' Building walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger. |
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*'''Perspiration:''' Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating. |
*'''Perspiration:''' Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating. |
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*'''Crying:''' Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. |
*'''Crying:''' Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. |
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*'''Physical Fitness''' |
*'''Physical Fitness''' |
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*'''Frankness:''' Cut the B.S. |
*'''Frankness:''' Cut the B.S. |
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*'''Capitalism: '''God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. |
*'''Capitalism: '''God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. |
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*'''Rage: '''One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it. |
*'''Rage: '''One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it. |
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*'''Security: '''Secure the land. |
*'''Security: '''Secure the land. |
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Revision as of 14:33, 25 March 2015
Ron Swanson developed the Pyramid of Greatness over the course of many years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement.
(Categories listed top to bottom by level of importance)
Category 1
- Honor: If you need it defined, you do not have it
Category 2
- America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures", use an atlas or a ham radio.
- Buffets: Whenever available. Choose quantity over quality, But beef over everything else
Category 3
- Weapons: Best used whenever you can.
- Wood working
- Welfare avoidance
Category 4
- Teamwork: Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES!
- Selfishness: Take what's yours.
- Haircuts: 3 acceptable styles: High and Tight, Crew Cut & Buzz Cut.
- Greatness itself: The best revenge.
Category 5
- Discipline: The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again.
- Attire: Shorts over 6" are capri pants. Shorts under 6" are European.
- Self-reliance: Trust yourself.
- Suspicion: Do not trust anyone else.
- Skim milk: That's right. It's on here twice. Avoid it.
Category 6
- Cow protein
- Pig protein
- Chicken protein
- Romantic love
- Deer protein
- Fish (Sport only!)
Category 7
- Intensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.
- Torso: Should be thick and impenetrable.
- Old wooden sailing ships: They're beautiful.
- B.O.: Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice.
- Stillness: Don't waste energy moving unless necessary.
- Skim milk: Avoid it.
- Cursing: There's only one bad word: Taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors, it's good enough for you.
Category 8
- Friends: One to three is sufficient.
- Property rights: They exist. Do not let them be taken away from you.
- Masonry: Walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger.
- Cabins: Places to rest that are made of logs.
- Perspiration: Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating.
- You: You are your biggest ally and your worst enemy, at the same time.
- Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
- Physical Fitness
Category 9
- Frankness: Cut the B.S.
- Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor.
- Facial hair: Full, thick and square. Nothing sculpted. If you have to sculpt it, that probably means you can't grow it.
- Living in the woods: Live off the land.
- Rage: One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
- Security: Secure the land.
- Poise: Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous.
- Handshakes: Firm, Dry, Solid. 3 seconds.
- Body grooming: Only women shave beneath the neck.