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[[File:Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.jpg|thumb|Swanson Pyramid of Greatness]]
 
[[File:Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.jpg|thumb|Swanson Pyramid of Greatness]]
[[Ron Swanson]] devoloped the Pyramid of Greatness over the course of many years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement.
+
[[Ron Swanson]] developed the Pyramid of Greatness over the course of many years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement.
   
 
(Categories listed top to bottom by level of importance)
 
(Categories listed top to bottom by level of importance)
Line 6: Line 6:
 
==Category 1==
 
==Category 1==
   
  +
*'''Honor:''' If you need it defined, you don't have it.
*'''HARD WORK'''
 
   
 
==Category 2==
 
==Category 2==
   
*'''America:''' The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures," use an atlas, or a ham radio. 
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*'''America:''' The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures", use an atlas or a ham radio.
  +
*'''Buffets:''' Whenever available. Choose quantity over quality, But beef over everything else
 
*'''Conservative: '''Be on the 'right side' of issues.
 
   
 
==Category 3==
 
==Category 3==
   
*'''FAMILY'''
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*'''Weapons'''
 
*'''Wood working'''
 
*'''CULTURE'''
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*'''Welfare avoidance'''
 
*'''PASSION'''
 
   
 
==Category 4==
 
==Category 4==
   
*'''Teamwork:''' Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES.
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*'''Teamwork:''' Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES!
  +
*'''Selfishness:''' Take what's yours.
 
  +
*'''Haircuts:''' 3 acceptable styles: High and Tight, Crew Cut & Buzz Cut. 
*'''Education:''' Always keep learning, someone will always be smarter than you.
 
  +
*'''Greatness itself:''' The best revenge.
 
*'''Intelligence:''' You're smarter than most people, remeber that. 
 
 
*'''Greatness Itself:''' Whatever you choose to do, do it better than everyone else!
 
   
 
==Category 5==
 
==Category 5==
   
 
*'''Discipline:''' The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again.
 
*'''Discipline:''' The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again.
  +
*'''Attire:''' Shorts over 6" are capri pants. Shorts under 6" are European.
 
  +
*'''Self-reliance:''' Trust yourself.
*'''Women:''' Keep it classy, no one wants it easy.
 
  +
*'''Suspicion:''' Do not trust anyone else.
 
*'''Confidence:''' Always know what your doing, even when you don't!
+
*'''Skim milk:''' That's right. It's on here twice. Avoid it.
 
*'''My Wife:''' Incomparable.
 
 
*'''Cheese:''' Put that S**t on everything!
 
   
 
==Category 6==
 
==Category 6==
   
*'''Steak-Delicious'''
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*'''Cow protein'''
 
*'''Pig protein'''
 
*'''Chicken-Delicious'''
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*'''Chicken protein'''
  +
*'''Romantic love'''
 
*'''Bacon-Delicious'''
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*'''Deer protein'''
  +
*'''Fish (Sport only!)'''
 
*'''Turkey-Delicious'''
 
 
*'''Eggs-Delicious'''
 
 
*'''Fish (WTF?)'''
 
   
 
==Category 7==
 
==Category 7==
   
 
*'''Intensity:''' Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.
 
*'''Intensity:''' Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.
 
*'''Torso:''' <span style="color:rgb(41,47,51);font-family:'HelveticaNeue',Arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;white-space:pre-wrap;">Should be thick and impenetrable.</span>
 
  +
*'''Old wooden sailing ships:''' They're beautiful.
*'''Perspective:''' <span style="color:rgb(41,47,51);font-family:'HelveticaNeue',Arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;white-space:pre-wrap;">The grass is greener on the other side because it's fertilized with shenanigans.</span>
 
  +
*'''B.O.:''' Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice.
 
*'''Parenting:''' Don't make the same mistakes your parents did.
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*'''Stillness:''' Don't waste energy moving unless necessary.
  +
*'''Skim milk:''' Avoid it.
 
 
*'''Cursing:''' There's only one bad word: Taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors, it's good enough for you.
*'''Religion:''' Prove It! 
 
 
*'''Vallenato:''' The Colombian definition of Awesome.
 
 
*'''Pearl Jam:''' Enough Said.
 
 
*'''Cursing:''' There is only one bad word. Taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors it's good enough for you.
 
   
 
==Category 8==
 
==Category 8==
   
*'''Friends:''' One to Three is sufficient.
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*'''Friends:''' One to three is sufficient.
  +
*'''Property rights: '''They exist. Do not let them be taken away from you.
 
*'''Parents: '''Respect Them! Even when you hate them.
+
*'''Masonry:'''  walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger.
  +
*'''Cabins:''' A place to rest that are made of logs.
 
  +
*'''Perspiration:''' Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating.
*'''Strength:''' Building your empire makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger.
 
 
*'''You:''' You are your biggest ally and your worst enemy, at the same time.
 
*''': Skinny Jeans''' Acceptable on skinny women only! 
+
*'''Crying:''' Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
  +
*'''Physical Fitness'''
 
*'''Dress Code:''' Shine shoes, tuck shirt, match belt.
 
 
*'''You:''' You are your biggest ally.
 
 
*'''Crying:''' Acceptable at funerals and from laughter.
 
 
*'''Physical Fitness: '''Stay Healthy, you'll thank yourself later
 
   
 
==Category 9==
 
==Category 9==
   
*'''Crossfit:''' Made for boys that can't lift like a man.
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*'''Frankness:''' Cut the B.S.
 
 
*'''Capitalism: '''God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. 
 
*'''Capitalism: '''God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. 
  +
*'''Facial hair:''' Full, thick and square. Nothing sculpted. If you have to sculpt it, that probably means you can't grow it. 
 
  +
*'''Living in the woods:''' Live off the land.
*'''Legacy:''' Make people hate you because they can't be you. 
 
 
*'''Soccer: '''The Sport of the World.
 
 
 
*'''Rage: '''One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
 
*'''Rage: '''One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
*'''Patriotism: '''You're in America now, Act like it.
+
*'''Security: '''Secure the land.
 
*'''Poise: '''Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous.
 
 
*'''Handshakes: '''Firm, Dry, Solid. 3 seconds. 
*'''Poise: '''Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly, that's ridiculous and girly
 
  +
*'''Body grooming:  '''Only women shave beneath the neck.
 
*'''Handshakes: '''Firm, dry, solid. 3 seconds. 
 
 
*'''MMA and Boxing:  '''Either or, the real test of man.
 

Revision as of 19:13, 17 June 2014

Swanson Pyramid of Greatness

Swanson Pyramid of Greatness

Ron Swanson developed the Pyramid of Greatness over the course of many years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement.

(Categories listed top to bottom by level of importance)

Category 1

  • Honor: If you need it defined, you don't have it.

Category 2

  • America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures", use an atlas or a ham radio.
  • Buffets: Whenever available. Choose quantity over quality, But beef over everything else

Category 3

  • Weapons
  • Wood working
  • Welfare avoidance

Category 4

  • Teamwork: Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES!
  • Selfishness: Take what's yours.
  • Haircuts: 3 acceptable styles: High and Tight, Crew Cut & Buzz Cut. 
  • Greatness itself: The best revenge.

Category 5

  • Discipline: The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again.
  • Attire: Shorts over 6" are capri pants. Shorts under 6" are European.
  • Self-reliance: Trust yourself.
  • Suspicion: Do not trust anyone else.
  • Skim milk: That's right. It's on here twice. Avoid it.

Category 6

  • Cow protein
  • Pig protein
  • Chicken protein
  • Romantic love
  • Deer protein
  • Fish (Sport only!)

Category 7

  • Intensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.
  • Torso: Should be thick and impenetrable.
  • Old wooden sailing ships: They're beautiful.
  • B.O.: Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice.
  • Stillness: Don't waste energy moving unless necessary.
  • Skim milk: Avoid it.
  • Cursing: There's only one bad word: Taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors, it's good enough for you.

Category 8

  • Friends: One to three is sufficient.
  • Property rights: They exist. Do not let them be taken away from you.
  • Masonry:  walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger.
  • Cabins: A place to rest that are made of logs.
  • Perspiration: Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating.
  • You: You are your biggest ally and your worst enemy, at the same time.
  • Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
  • Physical Fitness

Category 9

  • Frankness: Cut the B.S.
  • Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. 
  • Facial hair: Full, thick and square. Nothing sculpted. If you have to sculpt it, that probably means you can't grow it. 
  • Living in the woods: Live off the land.
  • Rage: One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
  • Security: Secure the land.
  • Poise: Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous.
  • Handshakes: Firm, Dry, Solid. 3 seconds. 
  • Body grooming:  Only women shave beneath the neck.