Changes: Ron Swanson's Pyramid of Greatness

Revision as of 17:43, 22 April 2014

Ron Swanson developed the Pyramid of Greatness over the course of many years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement.

(Categories listed top to bottom by level of importance)

Category 1

Honor: If you need it defined, you don't have it.

Category 2

America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures", use an atlas or a ham radio.
Buffets: Whenever available. Choose quantity over quality.

Category 3

Weapons
Wood working
Welfare avoidance

Category 4

Teamwork: Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES!
Selfishness: Take what's yours.
Haircuts: 3 acceptable styles: High and Tight, Crew Cut & Buzz Cut.
Greatness itself: The best revenge.

Category 5

Discipline: The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again.
Attire: Shorts over 6" are capri pants. Shorts under 6" are European.
Self-reliance: Trust yourself.
Suspicion: Do not trust anyone else.
Skim milk: That's right. It's on here twice. Avoid it.

Category 6

Cow protein
Pig protein
Chicken protein
Romantic love
Deer protein
Fish (Sport only!)

Category 7

Intensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.
Torso: Should be thick and impenetrable.
Old wooden sailing ships: They're beautiful.
B.O.: Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice.
Stillness: Don't waste energy moving unless necessary.
Skim milk: Avoid it.
Cursing: There's only one bad word: Taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors, it's good enough for you.

Category 8

Friends: One to three is sufficient.
Property rights: They exist. Do not let them be taken away from you.
Masonry: Building walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger.
Cabins: A place to rest that are made of logs.
Perspiration: Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating.
You: You are your biggest ally.
Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
Physical Fitness

Category 9

Frankness: Cut the B.S.
Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor.
Facial hair: Full, thick and square. Nothing sculpted. If you have to sculpt it, that probably means you can't grow it.
Living in the woods: Live off the land.
Rage: One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
Security: Secure the land.
Poise: Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous.
Handshakes: Firm, Dry, Solid. 3 seconds.
Body grooming: Only women shave beneath the neck.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 [[File:Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.jpg|thumb|Swanson Pyramid of Greatness]]
-[[Ron Swanson]] devoloped the Pyramid of Greatness over the course of many years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement.
+[[Ron Swanson]] developed the Pyramid of Greatness over the course of many years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement.
 (Categories listed top to bottom by level of importance)
@@ Line 10: / Line 10: @@
 ==Category 2==
-*'''America:''' The on§ly country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures," use an atlas, or a ham radio.
+*'''America:''' The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures", use an atlas or a ham radio.
 *'''Buffets:''' Whenever available. Choose quantity over quality.
@@ Line 17: / Line 16: @@
 *'''Weapons'''
+*'''Wood working'''
-*'''Woodworking'''
+*'''Welfare avoidance'''
-*'''Welfare Avoidance'''
 ==Category 4==
-*'''Teamwork:''' Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES.
+*'''Teamwork:''' Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES!
 *'''Selfishness:''' Take what's yours.
+*'''Haircuts:''' 3 acceptable styles: High and Tight, Crew Cut & Buzz Cut.
+*'''Greatness itself:''' The best revenge.
-*'''Haircuts:''' 3 acceptable styles: high and tight, buzz cut, crew cut.
-*'''Greatness Itself:''' The best revenge.
 ==Category 5==
 *'''Discipline:''' The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again.
+*'''Attire:''' Shorts over 6" are capri pants. Shorts under 6" are European.
+*'''Self-reliance:''' Trust yourself.
-*'''Attire:''' Shorts over 6" are capri pants, Shorts under 6" are European.
-*'''Self-Reliance:''' Trust yourself.
 *'''Suspicion:''' Do not trust anyone else.
+*'''Skim milk:''' That's right. It's on here twice. Avoid it.
-*'''Skim Milk*:''' Avoid it.
 ==Category 6==
-*'''Cow Protein'''- Always beats turkey meat
+*'''Cow protein'''
+*'''Pig protein'''
-*'''Pig Protein'''
+*'''Chicken protein'''
+*'''Romantic love'''
-*'''Chicken Protein'''
+*'''Deer protein'''
+*'''Fish (Sport only!)'''
-*'''Romantic Love'''
-*'''Deer Protein'''
-*'''Fish (Sport Only): '''It's practically a vegetable.
 ==Category 7==
 *'''Intensity:''' Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.
+*'''Torso:''' <span style="color:rgb(41,47,51);font-family:'HelveticaNeue',Arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;white-space:pre-wrap;">Should be thick and impenetrable.</span>
+*'''Old wooden sailing ships:''' They're beautiful.
-*'''Torso:''' Should be thick and impenetrable.
+*'''B.O.:''' Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice.
-*'''Old Wooden Sailing Ships:''' They're beautiful.
-*'''B.O.:''' Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice.
 *'''Stillness:''' Don't waste energy moving unless necessary.
+*'''Skim milk:''' Avoid it.
+*'''Cursing:''' There's only one bad word: Taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors, it's good enough for you.
-*'''Skim Milk*:''' That's right. It's on here twice. Avoid It.
-*'''Cursing:''' There is only one bad word. Taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors it's good enough for you.
 ==Category 8==
-*'''Friends:''' One to Three is sufficient.
+*'''Friends:''' One to three is sufficient.
+*'''Property rights: '''They exist. Do not let them be taken away from you.
-*'''Property Rights: '''They exist. Don't let them be taken away from you.
 *'''Masonry:''' Building walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger.
+*'''Cabins:''' A place to rest that are made of logs.
-*'''Cabins:''' A place to rest that is made of logs.
 *'''Perspiration:''' Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating.
 *'''You:''' You are your biggest ally.
 *'''Crying:''' Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
 *'''Physical Fitness'''
@@ Line 95: / Line 67: @@
 *'''Frankness:''' Cut the B.S.
+*'''Capitalism: '''God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor.
+*'''Facial hair:''' Full, thick and square. Nothing sculpted. If you have to sculpt it, that probably means you can't grow it.
-*'''Capitalism:''' God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor.
+*'''Living in the woods:''' Live off the land.
-*'''Facial Hair:''' Full, Thick, and Square, nothing sculpted. If you have to sculpt it that probably means you can't grow it.
+*'''Rage: '''One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
+*'''Security: '''Secure the land.
+*'''Poise: '''Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous.
-*'''Living in the Woods:''' Live off the Land.
+*'''Handshakes: '''Firm, Dry, Solid. 3 seconds.
+*'''Body grooming:  '''Only women shave beneath the neck.
-*'''Rage:''' One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
-*'''Security:''' Secure the Land.
-*'''Poise:''' Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous
-*'''Handshakes:''' Firm, Dry, Solid. Three seconds.
-*'''Body grooming: '''Only women shave below the neck.??

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