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==Category 1== |
==Category 1== |
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| + | *'''Honor:''' If you need it defined, you don't have it. |
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| ⚫ | |||
==Category 2== |
==Category 2== |
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| − | *'''America:''' The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures, |
+ | *'''America:''' The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures", use an atlas or a ham radio. |
| + | *'''Buffets:''' Whenever available. Choose quantity over quality. |
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| − | |||
| − | *'''Conservative: '''Be on the 'right side' of issues. |
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==Category 3== |
==Category 3== |
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*'''Weapons''' |
*'''Weapons''' |
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| ⚫ | |||
| − | *''' |
+ | *'''Welfare avoidance''' |
| − | |||
| − | *'''Welfare Avoidance''' |
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==Category 4== |
==Category 4== |
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| − | *'''Teamwork:''' Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES |
+ | *'''Teamwork:''' Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES! |
*'''Selfishness:''' Take what's yours. |
*'''Selfishness:''' Take what's yours. |
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| − | *''' |
+ | *'''Haircuts:''' 3 acceptable styles: High and Tight, Crew Cut & Buzz Cut. |
| − | *'''Greatness |
+ | *'''Greatness itself:''' The best revenge. |
==Category 5== |
==Category 5== |
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*'''Discipline:''' The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again. |
*'''Discipline:''' The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again. |
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| − | *'''Attire:''' |
+ | *'''Attire:''' Shorts over 6" are capri pants. Shorts under 6" are European. |
| − | *'''Self- |
+ | *'''Self-reliance:''' Trust yourself. |
*'''Suspicion:''' Do not trust anyone else. |
*'''Suspicion:''' Do not trust anyone else. |
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| − | *'''Skim milk:''' Avoid |
+ | *'''Skim milk:''' That's right. It's on here twice. Avoid it. |
==Category 6== |
==Category 6== |
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| − | *'''Cow |
+ | *'''Cow protein''' |
| − | |||
| − | *'''Pig Protein''' |
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| − | *''' |
+ | *'''Pig protein''' |
| + | *'''Chicken protein i loove it sooo much {{Infobox |
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| + | |Box title = djd |
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| + | |image = dfghj |
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| + | |imagewidth = gnm |
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| + | |caption = bnm}}''' |
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| − | *''' |
+ | *'''Romantic love''' |
| − | *'''Deer |
+ | *'''Deer protein''' |
| − | *'''Fish (Sport |
+ | *'''Fish (Sport only!)''' |
==Category 7== |
==Category 7== |
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*'''Intensity:''' Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that. |
*'''Intensity:''' Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that. |
||
| − | *''' |
+ | *'''Torso:''' <span style="color:rgb(41,47,51);font-family:'HelveticaNeue',Arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;white-space:pre-wrap;">Should be thick and impenetrable.</span> |
| + | *'''Old wooden sailing ships:''' They're beautiful. |
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| − | *'''Making The Sale:''' Make it happen. Play dirty, you know the other guy is. |
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| + | *'''B.O.:''' Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice. |
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| − | *'''Monetary:''' $20's ''are'' change, bro. |
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*'''Stillness:''' Don't waste energy moving unless necessary. |
*'''Stillness:''' Don't waste energy moving unless necessary. |
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| − | *'''Skim milk:''' |
+ | *'''Skim milk:''' Avoid it. |
| − | *'''Cursing:''' There |
+ | *'''Cursing:''' There's only one bad word: Taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors, it's good enough for you. |
==Category 8== |
==Category 8== |
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| − | *'''Friends:''' One to |
+ | *'''Friends:''' One to three is sufficient. |
| − | *'''Property |
+ | *'''Property rights: '''They exist. Do not let them be taken away from you. |
| − | *''' |
+ | *'''Masonry:''' Building walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger. |
| − | *''' |
+ | *'''Cabins:''' Places to rest that are made of logs. |
| + | *'''Perspiration:''' Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating. |
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| − | *'''Water Front Property:''' Love the view, hate the taxes. |
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*'''You:''' You are your biggest ally. |
*'''You:''' You are your biggest ally. |
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| − | *'''Crying:''' Acceptable at funerals and |
+ | *'''Crying:''' Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. |
| − | *'''Physical Fitness: ''' |
+ | *'''Physical Fitness: ''' |
==Category 9== |
==Category 9== |
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*'''Capitalism: '''God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. |
*'''Capitalism: '''God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. |
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| − | *''' |
+ | *'''Facial hair:''' Full, thick and square. Nothing sculpted. If you have to sculpt it, that probably means you can't grow it. |
| − | *'''Living in the |
+ | *'''Living in the woods:''' Live off the land. |
*'''Rage: '''One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it. |
*'''Rage: '''One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it. |
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*'''Security: '''Secure the land. |
*'''Security: '''Secure the land. |
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| − | *'''Poise: '''Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly |
+ | *'''Poise: '''Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous. |
| − | *'''Handshakes: '''Firm, |
+ | *'''Handshakes: '''Firm, Dry, Solid. 3 seconds. |
| − | *''' |
+ | *'''Body grooming: '''Only women shave beneath the neck. |
Revision as of 17:37, 17 April 2014
Swanson Pyramid of Greatness
Ron Swanson devoloped the Pyramid of Greatness over the course of many years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement.
(Categories listed top to bottom by level of importance)
Category 1
- Honor: If you need it defined, you don't have it.
Category 2
- America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures", use an atlas or a ham radio.
- Buffets: Whenever available. Choose quantity over quality.
Category 3
- Weapons
- Wood working
- Welfare avoidance
Category 4
- Teamwork: Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES!
- Selfishness: Take what's yours.
- Haircuts: 3 acceptable styles: High and Tight, Crew Cut & Buzz Cut.
- Greatness itself: The best revenge.
Category 5
- Discipline: The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again.
- Attire: Shorts over 6" are capri pants. Shorts under 6" are European.
- Self-reliance: Trust yourself.
- Suspicion: Do not trust anyone else.
- Skim milk: That's right. It's on here twice. Avoid it.
Category 6
- Cow protein
- Pig protein
- Chicken protein i loove it sooo much
- Romantic love
- Deer protein
- Fish (Sport only!)
Category 7
- Intensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.
- Torso: Should be thick and impenetrable.
- Old wooden sailing ships: They're beautiful.
- B.O.: Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice.
- Stillness: Don't waste energy moving unless necessary.
- Skim milk: Avoid it.
- Cursing: There's only one bad word: Taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors, it's good enough for you.
Category 8
- Friends: One to three is sufficient.
- Property rights: They exist. Do not let them be taken away from you.
- Masonry: Building walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger.
- Cabins: Places to rest that are made of logs.
- Perspiration: Only sweat during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating.
- You: You are your biggest ally.
- Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
- Physical Fitness:
Category 9
- Frankness: Cut the B.S.
- Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor.
- Facial hair: Full, thick and square. Nothing sculpted. If you have to sculpt it, that probably means you can't grow it.
- Living in the woods: Live off the land.
- Rage: One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
- Security: Secure the land.
- Poise: Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous.
- Handshakes: Firm, Dry, Solid. 3 seconds.
- Body grooming: Only women shave beneath the neck.