Ron Swanson's Pyramid of Greatness

Swanson Pyramid of Greatness

Ron Swanson devoloped the Pyramid of Greatness over the course of many years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement.

(Categories listed top to bottom by level of importance)

Category 1

• U.S.A.

Category 2

• Rule # 1: BE A MAN! 

• Rule # 2: FOLLOW RULE NUMBER 1!

Category 3

• 2ND PLACE IS 1ST LOSER

• REAL MEN DON'T WEAR PINK

• STAND UP STRAIGHT AND LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE

Category 4

• Teamwork: Work together as if your life depends on it... IT DOES.

• Education: Always keep learning, someone will always be smarter than you.

• Intelligence: You're smarter than most people, remeber that. 

• Greatness Itself: Whatever you choose to do, do it better than everyone else!

Category 5

• Discipline: The ability to repeat a boring thing over and over again. It puts hair on your chest.

• Confidence: Always know what you're doing, even when you don't! It puts hair every where else.

• Women: Keep it classy, no one want's it easy.

• My Wife: Incomparable.

• Cheese: Put that S**t on everything!

Category 6

• Steak-Delicious

• Chicken-Delicious

• Bacon-Delicious

• Turkey-Delicious

• Eggs-Delicious

• Fish (WTF?)

Category 7

• Intensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.

• Perspective: The grass is greener on the other side because it's fertilized with shenanigans.

• Parenting: Don't make the same mistakes your parents did. And Remember your kids will have something you will never have.

• Religion: Prove It! 

• Vallenato: The Colombian definition of Awesome.

• Pearl Jam: Enough Said.

• Cursing: There is only one bad word. Taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors it's good enough for you.

Category 8

• Friends: One to Three is sufficient.

• Parents: Respect Them! Even when you hate them. They have to manage your life too and they will make sure you don't eat your vegetables.

• Coffee: If I could snort it, I would!

• Skinny Jeans Acceptable on skinny women only! 

• Dress Code: Shine shoes, tuck shirt, match belt.

• School: LOVE IT, or learn to say, "Would you like fries with that"

• Crying: Acceptable at funerals and from laughter.

• Physical Fitness: Stay Healthy, you'll thank yourself later.

Category 9

• Crossfit: Made for boys that can't lift like a man.

• Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. 

• Legacy: Make people hate you because they can't be you. 

• Soccer: The Sport of the World.

• Rage: One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
• Patriotism: You're in America now, Act like it.

• Poise: Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly, that's ridiculous and girly

• Handshakes: Firm, dry, solid. 3 seconds. 

• MMA and Boxing:  Either or, the real test of man.