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Everybody stop talking, until Justin gets here. Don't use up your stories.
Leslie Knope

"Leslie's House" is the fourteenth episode in the second season of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation. It originally aired on January 21, 2010 to 4.35 million viewers.

Synopsis[]

After a wonderful date with Justin in Indianapolis, Leslie tries to impress him with a dinner party at her house.

Storyline[]

A remorseful Leslie tells a group of William Percy Recreation Center teachers that the Pawnee government took away $1,000 from the Parks and Rec Department's budget, and consequently, five classes will have to be cut, but exactly which classes had not yet been determined. Later, Leslie and Justin, who have been dating for a number of weeks, have another excellent date in Indianapolis. At the end of the night, they decide their next date will be in Pawnee, and Leslie feels pressure to make their date equally exciting. While talking later with Ann, Leslie decides to host a dinner party at her home with all her interesting friends. She invites Mark, Tom and Ron, specifically excludes Jerry, and asks Andy to work as the waiter. Andy agrees, even though he dislikes Justin, Ann's former crush, and Mark, her current boyfriend.

Ann comes to Leslie's house, and is shocked to find it full of stacks of boxes, papers and garbage. When they find themselves unable to clean it, Leslie calls Maria Portlesman, who teaches cleaning courses at the recreation center. Maria declines payment and hints she would prefer preferential treatment when Leslie cuts the classes, despite Leslie assuring Maria that her help will not affect her decision. When Leslie realizes she has not prepared any food for the party, she calls a culinary teacher from the recreation center. Later, at the party, Andy complains about Justin to April. April suggests putting chewed up gum into the pockets of Justin's coat, a suggestion that appeases Andy. Eventually, Ben, Derek, and Tom's ex-wife Wendy arrive. Tom expresses his displeasure with Leslie's choice to invite Wendy, especially because Ron is romantically interested in her. When Ron impresses Wendy by eating a hot red pepper, Tom attempts to eat a bigger one, but immediately runs to the bathroom in pain. When Justin starts yawning, a worried Leslie calls in other recreation center teachers to make the party more interesting, including a belly-dancer, a fencer, a cartoonist and an origami teacher. April also begins to back out of ruining Justin's coat because she finds Justin to be "kinda cool", causing Andy to declare she's betrayed him.

Eventually, an accounting teacher arrives, believing demonstrations are being held to determine which class will be cut, much to the anger of Ron. The accountant gives a very boring lecture, which puts Justin to sleep. The next day, Leslie is before the Pawnee Disciplinary Committee on charges of abuse of power. Leslie calls Justin as a witness and questions him as to whether he enjoyed the party, to which he answers an emphatic yes. Afterward, the committee rules no further action will be taken, mainly because Leslie turned herself in and paid $1,000 restitution to the recreation center so no classes would be cut. When Ann asks why she did it, Leslie said it was to get an honest answer from Justin about the date, under penalty of perjury.

Later, April reveals to Andy that she put gum in Justin's coat pockets, and he declares himself "unbetrayed". Justin encourages Tom to ask Wendy out.

Cast[]

Quotes[]

Tom: Justin is hip. Pawnee is the opposite of hip. People in this town are just now getting into Nirvana. I don't have the heart to tell them what's gonna happen to Kurt Cobain in 1994.

Teacher: How will you decide which classes to cut?
Leslie: By attendance, and student evaluations. So just make sure your students leave with a smile.
Teacher: My class is called Coping with Terminal Illness.
Leslie: Hopefully your attendance is good! Actually, no. Hopefully it's bad.

Leslie: That fish over there kinda reminds me of my mom.
Justin: Why?
Leslie: It's just being very withholding.

Mark: I can't wait to talk to Justin again. Last time he told me about how he snorkeled with whale sharks in Madagascar. That was after I told him that I sometimes go swimming at the Y.

Leslie: Dinner is served.
Ron: Excellent. [he quickly moves past her]

Tom: [to Leslie in private after Wendy showed up] What the hell are you doing? How could you invite Wendy when Ron's here?? He's gonna wrap her up in his mustache and take her home!

Leslie: I've been telling you for weeks that you should tell her how you feel, and now is your chance!
Tom: Ah, yeah, that makes sense. No, it doesn't! Not cool! At all! [he leaves the bathroom]
Leslie: [to the camera] He'll get over it.
Tom: No, I won't!

Ron: Are these peppers for consuming?
Teacher: Uh, I wouldn't. They've very hot.
Ron: I'm gonna give it a try. [he munches on it] Mm. Hot.
Wendy: You're very brave.

Tom: [tries to outdo Ron] Please, that was one of the tiny ones. [picks up a bigger pepper and sings in the style of Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It" ] This is how you eat it!
Ron: Don't do that, Tom.
Tom: [he munches on it, then caves from the heat] Mm! F**k! [he gets up and leaves the table]

Ron: [seeing Tom return to the table slowly in agony] Hey, little buddy. Everything okay? That took a long time.
Wendy: Poor Tommy. He has a very frail colon.

Leslie: Everybody stop talking, until Justin gets here. Don't use up your stories.
Mark: Well I think somebody from Animal Services is going to get canned-
Leslie: Oh my God, what part of no talking do you not understand? Please have a good time and shut your mouth.

Ron: When it comes to government hearings, the only type of witness I enjoy being is a hostile one. That's why I intend to answer every one of their questions with a question.

Phil: Were you aware that all the entertainment and food was provided by rec center teachers?
Ron: Would I have stayed if I knew that?
Phil: I don't know. Would you have?
Ron: Would you have?
Phil: No. I wouldn't have. [Leslie gives an odd look at Ron] Did you hear Leslie make any promises?
Ron: What constitutes a promise?
Phil: A quid pro quo.
Ron: Oh. Do you know Latin?
Phil: OK. Thank you, Ron.
Ron: Are we done?

Trivia[]

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