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|I'm Ron Swanson and you're Leslie f***ing Knope.|
|— Ron Swanson|
Taking place later the same night as last season's finale, Leslie Knope tells Ann Perkins that she was approached by William Barnes and Elizabeth, political scouts who recommended that she run for higher office. Leslie is conflicted about running due to her romantic relationship with Ben Wyatt, which would cause a possible scandal since he is Assistant City Manager. Meanwhile, upon learning that his first ex-wife Tammy 1 has arrived in town, Ron Swanson grabs an emergency survival bag and flees to live in the wilderness for several months.
Picking up several weeks later, an e-mail with a picture of a man's genitals is sent to all of the female employees. While Chris Traeger and Ben investigate, Leslie is sent to do damage control by having an interview with reporter Perd Hapley. The interview goes so well that the scouts decide to have Leslie announce her candidacy for city council that Friday, rather than their original plan of three months. Leslie panics because she had been putting off ending things with Ben, and she panics further when Ben presents her with a gift during a dinner, causing her to also flee to the wilderness to hide out with Ron. Tom Haverford visits the parks department with promotional material from his new job at Entertainment 720, where he works with Jean-Ralphio Saperstein, but not even he is sure what Entertainment 720 does. He offers Andy Dwyer a job, but Andy turns him down, unsure of where to go with his life.
Ann tells Chris that the genitals in the picture show symptoms of mumps. Chris and Ben discover that Joe Fantringham from the Sewage Department sent the e-mail and fire him, and Chris announces Ann's discovery to everyone. This prompts a large number of male employees to e-mail Ann pictures of their genitals so she can check for mumps. As a result, Ann has Dr. Harris come in to perform tests on everyone. At Ron's cabin, Leslie and Ron both realize they cannot run away from their problems and return to the Parks Department. Ron tells everyone that Leslie is going to be running for city council and will need an assistant to help her with the extra work, so April Ludgate suggests Andy, who is hired. Leslie later meets with Ben to break up with him, but to her surprise, the gift she left unwrapped at dinner is a "Knope 2012" button; Ben deduced by how Leslie was acting that she was offered to run for elected office, and the two break up amicably. She later announces her candidacy for City Council. Tammy 1, an IRS agent, later meets up with Ron in his office and serves him audit papers.
Waiter: Would you like any wine to start?
Leslie: Yes, and I'm gonna be direct and honest with you, I would like a glass of red wine and I'll take the cheapest one you have because I can't tell the difference.
Leslie: [pointing to Ann's phone] Do you need to get that?
Ann: No, it's just penises.
Chris: I want to apologize to all the women and Jerry. If I could go back in time and cut your eyeballs out, I would.
April: Wow, that is so sweet.
Chris: Thank you.
Dr. Harris: That man has the largest penis I have ever seen. I actually don't even know if he has mumps; forgot to look. I was distracted by the largest penis I have ever seen.