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Leslie, you can't actually plan your future. I mean, there's no guarantees in this world. As long as the people that I love are apart of my life, I will be just fine.
Jerry Gergich

"Halloween Surprise" is the fifth episode in the fifth season of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation. It originally aired on October 25, 2012 to 3.34 million viewers.

Synopsis[]

Ben gets a job offer, forcing Leslie to think about their future; Ron and Andy take Diane's girls trick-or-treating; Tom looks for a new business idea.

Storyline[]

Diane Lewis invites Ron to go trick or treating with her and her daughters. Although Ron at first declines, Andy Dwyer begs Ron to reconsider, and he reluctantly agrees. That night, Diane and both of her daughters are dressed as princesses, while Andy is dressed as a policeman, and Ron is, once again, a pirate. Andy is practicing his observation skills in preparation for his police exam, and carries a tape recorder to describe general things around him. Diane is called away by her job, and Ron's attempts to watch the girls go poorly. Diane leaves an angry voicemail for Ron, and he reflects that he is not ready for an entire family. When Diane later apologizes, Ron does not reciprocate, causing her to part ways with him. After April Ludgate and Andy criticize his actions, he changes his mind, and goes to Diane's house with gifts. He apologizes, explaining that he has spent most of his life alone and is not used to children. They all then go trick-or-treating again, despite it being a week after Halloween.

Meanwhile, Leslie Knope and Ann Perkins are viewing houses in preparation for Leslie and her boyfriend Ben Wyatt to move in together when he returns from Washington, D.C.. In Washington, Ben announces that the campaign he has been working on is complete, and they have won. April leaves immediately to return to Pawnee. Jennifer Barkley talks to him about his future career, offering him the opportunity to work on another campaign. However, when he tells Leslie, she is upset, as she was counting on him returning to Pawnee shortly. Ben promises that everything is still preliminary.

At City Hall, Chris Traeger screens a movie, "Death Canoe 4: Murder at Blood Lake", in honor of Halloween, and says that he intends to dress as his "greatest fear" – an old man. At the screening, Donna Meagle loudly comments on the movie, as well as live-tweeting her reactions to it. Leslie discusses her problems with Ben with Ann, who suggests they cheer up by scaring Tom, who has just left the movie screening to use the restroom. They do so, but instead accidentally surprise Jerry, who has a heart attack, which they call a "fart attack." While in the hospital, Jerry mentions that he is worried about the medical bills, but Leslie promises to make sure he has the future he had planned. She arranges for the Parks Department to hold a garage sale to raise money. Tom attempts to sell some of his clothing, but a woman refuses to buy a jacket because her son would soon outgrow it. This inspires Tom to create a new business: Rent-a-Swag, which rents expensive clothing to "teens, tweens, and everyone in between". Leslie is disappointed by the low funds raised by the sale, projecting her own fears about her unstable future onto Jerry. However, he reminds her that you can't plan the future. Meanwhile, Jennifer and Ben have a meeting about him beginning to run a new campaign. She advises him to "think about your future".

The next day, Leslie is viewing the house a final time before cancelling her lease on it. Unexpectedly, Ben arrives and proposes. Leslie accepts, and the two embrace.

Cast[]

Guest Stars[]

Quotes[]

Diane: Hey, am I interrupting something important?
Ron: Impossible. I work for the government.

Chris: It's just a piece of paper, and he only made for me after I specifically asked for it while crying loudly... it sure meant a lot to receive.

Donna: Hope no one minds if I live tweet this bitch!

Donna: [shouting to a character in Death Canoe 4] Get your foot out of the water, dumbass! It's "Blood Lake"!

Andy: I'm applying to the Police Academy soon, and the manual says I have to work on my observation skills, so: Tree. Leaves. Night. Sky. Hand. Andy's hand. [Farting noise] What else you've got?

Chris: Why, exactly, is it a Death Canoe? Does it tip over easily?

Donna: [explaining Death Canoe to Chris] Read my Twitter feed. I live-tweeted the first three this morning in preparation. In the fifth one, the canoe is actually the hero -- it's a crazy twist!

Leslie: Florida? They have sharks in Florida. And swamps. And swamp sharks.

Andy: [talking into tape recorder] 7:34 p.m. Man dressed as a nerd. Female dressed as... crazy witch.
Man: Neither of us is in costume.
Andy: Case closed. Candy please.

[Ann and Leslie plan to scare Tom and wait outside the Men's restroom]
Ann: Okay. Ready and... [they both shout "Boo!" as Jerry exits, instead]
Jerry: OH! [they all chuckle until Jerry farts]
Leslie: [disgusted] Jerry! God! Gross.
Jerry: [farts again, then clutches his heart] Ohhh!
Leslie: Jerry!
Jerry: Guys, I'm... [lets out another fart]
Ann: [concerned] Oh, God. I think he might be having a heart attack. [Jerry continues to fart]
Leslie: What?? Are you serious? [Jerry farts again] Uhh, so much stuff is happening right now!
Ann: Call 911. [Jerry still farts]
Leslie: Okay.
Ann: Just breathe, okay? You're going to be fine. [more farts from Jerry]

Tom: [smelling Jerry's farts] Ah, geez! Did a dinosaur just fart?? Jerry, get a grip!
Jerry: Sorry, guys! [he lets out another fart]
Tom: Ugh! Apology not accepted!

Tom: [as Jerry farts] Seriously, Jerry, did you eat farts for lunch?

Leslie: TOM! Jerry's having a heart attack!
Tom: [shocked] Oh no, I didn't know that! Jerry, you okay? [Jerry farts once again]

Leslie: [after Jerry is in the hospital] How is he, Ann? Give it to me straight.
Ann: He's great. He should be out of here in a day or two. [Jerry and Ann look happy]

Tom: Doctor. Medically speaking, how would you describe what happened to Jerry?
Doctor: He had a mild heart attack.
Tom: [not the answer he was looking for] Yeaahh, but he also exhibited excessive flatulence. Is there a term for having a heart attack while releasing soooo much gas?
Doctor: Not really. Gastrointestinal distress is common during a cardiac event.

Tom: [to the crew] I just want to hear the doctor say that Jerry had a 'fart attack'! Is that too much to ask??

Leslie: The Pawnee Municipal Employee Healthcare Plan is kind of crappy. One time I sprained my wrist, and our insurance claimed that having a wrist was a preexisting condition.

April: [On how much Andy should sell an old hat for] I don't know, eight cents. [Upon hearing Andy wore it the first time he heard Pearl Jam's "Vitalogy"] Oh, $900.

Ron: I like Diane, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for a whole family. If the kids ever wanted to come to my place, I'd have to take a whole week off work just to undo the alarms and trip wires.

Ann: Recently, Leslie pointed out that sometimes when I date someone, I kind of adopt that person's personality. The evidence is fairly damning: Chris Traeger, exercise phase; Andy Dwyer, my grunge phase; Tom Haverford, my needless shopping phase... also my credit card debt phase -- [Holds up robe with AP monogrammed initials] Ann Perkins.

Morris: I'm just saying, you should've put "Spoiler Alert" on all those Death Canoe tweets. Also, not safe for work; a lot of what you wrote was really profane. [all the while, Donna is on her phone and clearly not caring for his millennial feelings/complaints]
Donna: The movie is 25 years old, Morris. And if you don't like what I'm tweeting, then don't follow me.
Morris: What are you doing now? I'm talking to you.
Donna: [bluntly] I'm live tweeting this dumbass conversation.

Leslie: 3 out of 4 married couples have met each other at spontaneous auctions!
Ann: I don't think that's true.

Leslie: I'm sorry, Jerry, but your future has been cancelled. We only raised $1200.
Jerry: Leslie, thank you! That is amazing.
Leslie: No, it stinks. It's not even close to what you need, with all your bills and the inevitable follow-up problems and a lifetime of chronic misery that awaits you. I mean, you had this whole plan for your retirement, and your beach house, and now... [sighs] your future is just a huge pile of crap.
Jerry: Leslie, you can't actually plan your future. I mean, there's no guarantees in this world. As long as the people that I love are a part of my life, I will be just fine. Hey, want to stick around? Watch some of my stories with me? Tonight's Strawberry Jell-O Night!
Leslie: Oh, my God, your life is so depressing. No thank you.

Leslie: Oh, my God. What are you doing?
Ben: Thinking about my future. I am deeply ridiculously in love with you. And above everything else, I just want to be with you forever. So Leslie Knope, will you--
Leslie: Wait, wait, okay? Just--I need to remember this. Give me a second.
Ben: Leslie--
Leslie: No, no, no, no, hold on. Just--I need another second, please. I need to remember every little thing about how perfect my life is, right now, at this exact moment.
Ben: [laughing] Are you good?
Leslie: Yeah, I'm good.
Ben: Leslie Knope, will you---
Leslie: YES!
Ben: Marry me?
Leslie: Oh yeah, yeah!

Trivia[]

Gallery[]

A gallery of episode photos can be found here.

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