|I don't want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.|
|— Leslie Knope|
The episode opens with Leslie Knope and Tom Haverford responding to an incident at a park trail, where teenage boys are picking up plastic baggies of dog droppings and throwing them at each other; Leslie tries to stop them but ends up playing along with the boys and admitting it is fun. Later, at the Pawnee town hall, a construction company has sent a gift basket with wine and cheese to the parks department, but Leslie locks it away because they are not allowed to accept gifts over $25. Later, she and the others in the department look at a new social-networking site that April Ludgate has set up for the pit construction project. The site already has six friends, including city planner Mark Brendanawicz, who Leslie is disappointed to see is friends with many scantily clad young women. Leslie and Ann Perkins see Mark and other city planners drinking beer in the city hall courtyard. Leslie describes it as the exclusive "boys' club" and proposes the two ladies crash it.
When they come outside, Mark and the others welcome them warmly. Leslie enjoys herself at the party and, when the beer runs out and the party is about to end, she keeps it going by retrieving the wine from the gift basket. The next morning, she feels guilty and, despite her boss Ron Swanson's assurance that it isn't a "big deal", Leslie issues a public apology to every government official in Pawnee, including a link to the new pit website. Later, however, she learns April has placed a drunken video of herself drinking the rest of the wine on the site, even though she is only 19. Ron tells Leslie an ethics board has called for a disciplinary hearing with Leslie. Leslie apologizes to the board and defends April, accepting responsibility for the video. As the questions from the board continue, Ron angrily defends Leslie, insisting, "Leslie has never broken a rule in her life, to the point that it's annoying." He abruptly ends the meeting and insists they will have to go through him to give Leslie anything more than a slap on the wrist. Later, Leslie learns she will receive a letter in her file, which disappoints her strongly until Mark tells her he has seven in his file, and that most of the guys have at least one. Mark welcomes Leslie "to the team", which makes her proud.
In a B story, Ann's normally lazy boyfriend Andy Dwyer decides to surprise her by cleaning up their messy apartment while she is at work. After cleaning it, he bathes himself in a children's pool in the back yard and plays music; his angry neighbor Lawrence steals his radio, prompting Andy (who has two broken legs) to chase him naked through the streets on his crutches. Later, Ann arrives home and is pleased with Andy's housework, prompting Andy to tell the documentary crew he expects to get "laid" later.
- Amy Poehler
- Rashida Jones
- Paul Schneider
- Aziz Ansari
- Nick Offerman
- Aubrey Plaza
- Chris Pratt as Andy Dwyer
- Pratt's credit does not include an image, nor is it part of the opening with the theme, as it had for the first 3 episodes
- Eric Edelstein as Lawrence
- Todd Grinnell as Nate
- Windell D. Middlebrooks as Brian
- Jim O'Heir as Jerry Gergich
- Retta Sirleaf as Donna Meagle
- Stewart Skelton as Phil
- J.W. Wolterman as Steve
Tom: When you're in government, there's a million ways to exploit your power. Have I ever given into that temptation? No. Never. I'm not that kind of politician.
[cut to Tom cutting in front of the line at a hot dog cart]
Tom: Official Parks and Rec business. Just need to grab a quick hot dog. [turns to girl behind him] Sorry about that, little girl. You can get the next one.
Leslie: [after knocking over beer bottles] Did you hear that? Was that the sound of a glass ceiling being shattered?
Leslie: I kinda feel like I'm already in the boys' club. I mean, look at those bitches clean up after me.
Leslie: [looking at Mark's online profile] Maybe those are his family members?
Ann: Yeah, maybe fake boobs run in his family.
Ron: My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he's allowed to decide is who to nuke. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. And women are brought to him, maybe...when he desires them.
April: [on the phone] Natalie, it's your sister. Pick me up or I'll draw all over your favorite jeans.
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